Ok the title may sound a lil over the top but I will explain:
I got a sore throat a couple days ago and the sickness itself (using up energy my body doesn't have) and the pain from my throat (real pain tends to trigger Neuro Pain or just make the pain I am already having much worse) has been making my life hell.
Yesterday, June 25th, was pretty much non stop pain at any point I wasn't drugged into sleep (thank G*d for muscle relaxers). I even had the unlucky experience of throwing up my percocet in the morning so the day started off awful and went down hill from there.
By the evening I was in such a bad state I could barely talk at one point and my mother had to call multiple friends to see if anyone could come help me. I was out of drinks (the water in College Station is so disgusting it just makes me sicker if I am forced to drink it) and food that my stomach could handle and even some of my meds. Finally I got a hold of someone who wasn't out of town, injured from a car accident, partying cause it was Friday, or so overprotective they would have driven me to madness on top of the agony. My friends and ex-mentee Henry came by and not only went shopping for me but cooked me some dinner and brought it to me since I was talking again but still not up for walking.
One of the reasons I couldn't walk is the same as the reason I want cut off my left leg... on and off for the last week I have been a reacurring pain in my upper left thigh. It feels like someone is slicing into my leg and then trying the dig into the flesh with a dull knife... it is absolute agony and tends to make me scream almost every time. On top of that by the time the pain killers kick in (20-40 min) the agony is over and I just end up drugged (which I HATE)
Today my cold was a bit better and the pain a lot less then yesterday (still horrid but not death wish awful), then my leg went off again. I had the thought that maybe between cold meds and pain meds I thought maybe I could go out and have a lil fun for the first time in a week (not that loosing a bikini contest to a girl who looks like a 12 year old boy was all that much fun last Saturday, but hanging with Bee and Stephen and watching Brock and KJ do the robot def was:), but the smoke and other crap in all the clubs in B/CS will prob have my sore throat back to full agony by tomorrow and if it does I will be stuck in the apartment not moving for at least 2 or 3 days... and I just don't know if the chance of fun is worth the chance of agony?
SO tonight I get to be stuck in the house and my housemate just came back for the first time all week (not Thursday when he was supposed to drive me to a doc apt, and got to have a panic attack that last an hour on the way there) and he wants to be all mother hen and over protective and talk to me like a baby "aww sweetheart are you ok?" and pat my head... NO I AM NOT OK!!!
I haven't been ok for years but I have especially been NOT OK for the last 8 months that I have been in a relapse (since I got swine flu last fall), and I am so damn sick of that G*d damn phrase that I think I will start hurting people who continue to ask it!
Ok so that is an update of my cold and the last 2 days.... Talk to you all again soon :)
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