Fell off the edge of the world again, Sorry

Ok so my last post was pretty grim, but that was where I was.
Now I am doing a bit better over all, still get my dark days or minutes or hours, but I am also finally having some good times. I have minutes, sometimes hours, once even a whole day where I feel stable and ok even get some stuff done.
I have recently learned that I don't have depression but I do have a moderate form of emotional lability, so I can be completely depressed out of control with grief and rage and almost suicidal for hours and then it passes and I can be calm and centered and as focused and relaxed as an ancient Buddhist monk. It is kinda creepy to say the least and there are no medications that can fix it (like anti-depressants), and depending on how close to a pathological condition your version of it is there may be absolutely nothing you can do about it at all. We are hoping that with meditation and bio-feedback and stress coping strategies I can control it and maybe even make it go away and heal a lot of neurological damage of my condition. Not that any of that is easy but it is a plan and that is a very good start, and just knowing all this tends to help me stay a lil more grounded and stable.
SO that is what is new and going on with me.
I will try to keep up with the Blog better now that I am getting a better hold on everything :)
TTY'all L