Hello and welcome to another day in the life of a CFIDS patient :)
So Saturday I was sick and it was my cousin's wedding, UGH! I had a sore throat and maybe even a short Epstein Bar flare up (yucky mono gook on my right tonsil). I hate being sick even when I don't have anything to do. It tends to make all aspects of my condition worse and since I get sick to my stomach anytime I get ill it means I can't take any of my normal pills.
I missed the actual ceremony but I did make the reception since it was hours later. But the reception was at the Thayer Hotel at West Point and going through the military check point and dealing with problems stemming from my wheelchair and the fact that many of the guests were Army personnel in dress uniform it was really hard on my emotionally. The whole you lost your dream and you will never serve your country thing was like a knife I couldn't pull out of my chest. And on top of all that I was dealing with agonizing neuro pain triggered by me being sick and under stress and no matter what I took it didn't want to go away.
I also learned for the first time what people mean when they say that the disabled are treated differently. I had heard people say that but never understood. To me someone in a wheelchair was just someone sitting down, someone missing a limb was someone who had suffered but had some kind of adventure of some sort. I also grew up with a lot of older members of my family and I saw a bunch of them end up in wheelchairs but they were amazing and strong and passionate vibrant people so I never thought about it. But at that wedding I learned I was an exception. People don't want to look at you. They can't seem to keep a conversation or they continuously just say uh huh, or yeah OK. It made trying to make a hard and uncomfortable situation even harder and more uncomfortable.
I'm sorry to hear that Jess. I know you're tough as nails and would have done a damned good job if you had the chance. I have a different view than some relating to disability because of my life experience, but i know what you mean. You're a great lady, and I have a ton of faith in you. :)
ReplyDeleteAfter a few more years I can confirm that people really do treat others different when in a wheelchair. People have trouble looking you in th he eye. Smiling even return for one you give first. Sometimes even their tone of voice changes, almost as if, if your body was damaged in some way your mind must be as well.
ReplyDeleteThe same guys who can't stop staring and smiling (or even flirting) at you while standing and walking; can't even look you in the eye or be willing to talk to you when in the chair. Now this isn't true of every one. I've met one or too brave enough over the past 5 years of using the chair on and off; but very very few.
It makes me very aware of others in wheelchairs and I constantly try to smile directly at anyone I see in one if not greet them completely.